yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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