Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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