i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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