I want to stick my p in your. b.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this boner is exhausting
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
