I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
