All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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