just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
