tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
