just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
