so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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