Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
