It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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