so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
