just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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