Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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