she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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