I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
