Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
