morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize