ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
