CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
