I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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