Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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