I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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