Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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