i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
