Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
