Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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