i think my tv is drunk
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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