She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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