so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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