Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
NoShamevember. You game?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
