Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
