so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
