Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
