Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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