Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
