You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
