something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
