How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
