dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
