Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
