You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
