I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
