this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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