Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will be naked everywhere
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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