Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
