I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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