Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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