marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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