i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize