I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
