Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
