I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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