some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
