My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
