ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
